Some times it feels like falling into an abyss. Some times it seems like an unfamiliar world. However scared you are, however painful it appears now, it will pass. The holograms of time and the folds of space that veils each atom and connects each story. Most amusing, most circular. Trace one word to its history, one name to its being and you can see how spiders and crystals and trees are the greatest myth makers."Ever Ever After" 2007Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true. Deep down inside we want to believe they still do; and a secret is taught, it's our favorite part of the story. Let's just admit we all want to make it too. If we just don't get it our own way. Ever ever after. It may only be a wish away. Start your own fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve. Sometimes you reach what is real just by making believe. Unafraid, unashamed. There is joy to be claimed in this world. You even might wind up being glad to be you. Though the world will tell you it's not smart. The world can be yours if you let your heart. Believe in ever after. No wonder your heart feels it's flying, your head feels it's spinning. Each happy ending is a brand new beginning. Let yourself be enchanted, you just might break through to ever ever after. Forever could even start today. Maybe it is just one wish away, your ever ever after.
I enjoy writing. You christened my diary "The Scriptures" that day in Greece. You were right; This is how I focus my thoughts of life's verses. To find out in five or ten years if I have grown beyond that story's moment. Somehow I forget these stories after they are written, but easily recalled like a dream triggered by familiar notes.
It is possibly the only real discipline I have, the closest I get to daily reflections or meditations, like Marcus Aurelius, 121, "A little flesh, a little breath, and a Reason to rule all - that is my self. Look well into your self; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if you will always look there. The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it."
Keeping journals over 20 years is enlightening. To watch how I circle in a tight corner of my mind over which experiences, or when I fly with my dreams. To see when I wise up, or if I am ignorant differently. To know that all states and stories rise and fade with time, to understand that changing the space outside of me is as helpful as changing what is inside of me.
[412.26] suffering
It enriches me to learn, some lessons take longer, others more painfully. Yet with years, in our own perfect moments, by our inner strength, we can break out of younger, limiting perceptions, we can shift dimensions in life previously veiled but never hidden. We can use those moments of clarity, those insufferable changes and chaos to re-create our worlds, and we will be ok, even if it does not seem so at that time."Lament for a Son" Nicholas Wolterstorff, 1932It is said of God that no one can behold his face and live. I always thought this meant that no one could see his splendor and live. A friend said perhaps it meant that no one could see his sorrow and live. Or perhaps his sorrow is splendor and great mystery.
All beings suffer, especially from their nature and attachments. According to Buddha stories, gods suffer from pride due to their powers, asuras suffer from jealousy so they are always battling, humans suffer from desire hence we grow old, sick and die, animals suffer from ignorance as beasts of burden and prey, ghosts suffer from greed through insatiable hunger and thirst, hell beings suffer from anger or hatred which is why hell can burn and freeze over too.
2004, morning after Christmas, you woke up and said you felt tremors. I thought you partied too much. We were right there in the chaos. So many thousands of lives, tourists and locals, disappeared that day. We were grateful none of our 900 colleagues were lost, even as they lost friends or family. The next few days were momentous as people pulled together to help each other. We didn't speak the same languages, but we were ready and we helped in any little way: food, water, a blanket, a prayer, a note, a call, a look of hope, even a hand helping to cut and fold their white shrouds. We were many hands, without words but with the same heart to serve.
That experience taught me much about a unifying, universal story without borders or languages. A massive natural calamity becomes the tipping point for indefinable love and understanding for humanity. This was not caused by humans, so unlike our petty world wars and border attacks, we had to look for something more than our selves to believe in. As the years move on with more natural disasters, each of us take turns to learn these core life lessons, especially through death. We could still have faith and hope in humanity's ability to grow from chaos and evolution to peace.
[123.8] soul searching
"Ideals" Edgar Cayce, 1877(3051-2) No soul enters by chance, but that it may fill that it has sought and does seek as its ideal. Hence, as may be the first injunction to this entity: Do not too oft accept what others say, unless it answers to a something deep within self. Do not, then, merely have a verbal or vocal ideal. Do write what is thy ideal. Begin with that under these three headings: Spiritual, Mental, Material. And write what is thine own ideal. As ye find, these may change from time to time. For each soul grows in grace, in knowledge, in understanding. Just as the awareness, the unfoldments come to the self as the entity applies that it has chosen and does choose from day to day.
I discovered Edgar and Marcus' books at the library in 2009. They read well with me. Thin books, each with their insights, each lifetime over a thousand years apart and searching, just like this lifetime two thousand years later.(2533-6)..ideals are not your mind - ideals are principles acted upon by the mind. (1995-1) The condition of the physical body is not conducive to an attitude towards constructive thinking! There must be, naturally, innate, a coordination of the body, mind and soul, - which is a necessary force. The body finds itself body, mind, soul, - these are influences that are active within the experience. And only that which is constructive or creative CAN be everlasting. These bring, then, with those thoughts, those activities, constructive forces into the experience. Do that. Live it in self, and thus you may induce others and those about you to try it. Not by nagging, not by finding fault. Ye would not want others to find fault with you! Then live so toward others that you do not find fault, but find the good in every experience.
[92.9] synchronicity
It is not magical, it is logical. I don't know, I notice. This is training of senses and perceptions to the environment and thoughts. Why some people can and some things cannot. How the winds whisper and the bird sings or the seed explodes. Watch your world - inside and out. Observe how each key thought moment fits with holes in the natural pattern. There are clues to fate and choices of destiny. What is observed or meditated on, reveals effects to affect change. Synchronized with the flow of the world and we peacefully pass through the fabric of time-space. We can notice the pattern of stories past and stories-to-be.
Of Stars, Sands, and Stories.
