Experiment 1 Physical

[114.7]
it is tough to be reborn
to learn to grow again
to balance this being
to recreate more forms and formlessly too
to be too young for this and too old for that
languages come easily
i am bored at times of re-learning some times
the infinite nature of the cosmos
temporally contained in a finite form
herein lies the Magic
the will that brings thought into being
the potential, in earth, in me.

[122.27]
a magical connection of body and mind
an integrated spirit to heal completely

[93.18]
..a story written in every stone,
a song whispered in each seed,
a reason for all creation,
a voice of being..

Dreamweaver – age 30

“You must want to live – at very least, not to prefer to die. The pain will be immense and the vacuums of space so vast that you cannot even remember that you have a body or a life. Your mind will be an endless scape of terrors that will test your very core, your darkest soul. Your strength will fade in every way and your senses so magnified that you can hear thunder in every heart beat and torrential floods in every blooded being.”

Out of phase and dense confusion – a tired gladiator whose soul is not his, dreams the death of a forgotten soldier.

The lifeless body of a fat man floats by in a swirl of white, murky waters. The children and other folk continue their lives around the waters’ edge oblivious to his bloated stillness. A child notices and wants to play with the dead mannequin but it is too far from his grasp. The water is filthy with curds of bubbles. The fish are dead too and lie with one eye to the sky beside the man. He has poisoned the river yet the young ones play on.

I get meaner and thinner. My body is stabbed and my soul is fractured. I am here, tired and struggling, praying to be better to serve – to be worthy of a third chance of a life redeemed by the prayers of others. I can hear them in the distance, those voices that chant and the fleeting thoughts of holy supplications.

What is her purpose? Where have her words gone? This fracture is closing too slowly or perhaps not at all. This blood in her body is not hers. Of users and givers, she is disappointed in herself. She is no saint; she is no angel. There may be no salvation.

All you see, hear, smell, taste and feel are not real. Your thoughts are not your own. You can hear me and them and your self screaming as you choke from inside. I do not understand – You do not understand. I through eyes that are not mine; my senses deceive you.

\\ He shared a moment with chemicals in his brain. Regardless, he thought. He awoke with a desperate sense that he had to make a tough and hard decision between two things. He had reasoned it out logically and nothing would conclude to alleviate the chaos. All was well, messed up.

\\ He could not move and he could not see, yet behind closed eyes, it was blindingly white, not dark. He can hear his voice screaming out into the murmur of voices and surgical blips, what is happening to me! An instant shot of awareness flashed through his body. Pain that blinded his body and mind, he groaned then gagged on something that was forced into his mouth. He could not speak. He started to thrash about on the hard slab.

\\ Hands. He could feel rubberized palms touching his skin and holding him down. Let me go, he could feel hot tears rolling down his face. Pain shot up and down the length of his spine. Be still; Where am I. He did not care, his instincts took over and he was an animal trapped, desperate and frenzied. Suddenly his body stopped its spasms and his mind slipped into a quiet state. Where am I?